Melbourne mum Jessica Hood gave birth to her first child six years ago – and she hasn’t let her husband see her naked since.
The mother-of-four, who blogs about motherhood and life under the name House of Hoods, revealed online that she refuses to let her husband and father of her children Karl see her nude.
But while she was nervous about making her relationship confession, she told news.com.au
she’s been overwhelmed with followers all have the same bedroom “issue”.
“We only have sex in the dark; if it’s during the day my clothes are on. We never shower together. I never get dressed in front of him,” Ms Hood initially explained in an Instagram post.
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“I won’t even swim in front of him. I even won’t let him see the images of me on Instagram. It’s more than just sexual, it’s everyday life. It hurts me that I feel this way.
“I hate him touching my stomach, even brushing against my stomach makes me anxious.”
Ms Hood said that after giving birth her body changed and she is “afraid he will be disgusted and be turned off” by what he sees.
“It’s not him though, it’s me. He tells me all the time he doesn’t care but what if it’s different when he actually sees me? All of me? My saggy tummy, my stretch marks, my cellulite, my rolls. I’m not the girl I was when we first met, in fact I’m not a girl at all, I’m a woman,” she wrote.
Ms Hood said that she “never thought I would be 25kg heavier after children” and that she knows her lack of body confidence “hurts him”.
“But I don’t wanna feel this way forever. He deserves me. All of me. Just give me time. One day you will get all of me,” she wrote.
Ms Hood told news.com.au she decided to share her post as it had been “something that I’ve been dealing with for so long”.
“(It’s) something I’ve been very worried about sharing because it is so personal on a different level,” she said.
“I find it affects my sexual relationship, how wonderful my sex life could be if I let my guard down and although Karl is understanding and patient it still upsets me a lot.”
Ms Hood said she was also struck by how often other mums felt the same way, even though they might be confident in every other aspects of their lives.
“I also know it’s a common issue women have after having children,” she said. “While we can be confident, when it comes to our partners it’s different. I guess because the changes after childbirth are so dramatic. Not just physically but mentally.”
Ms Hood’s post resonated with other mums, who said they too struggled with getting naked in front of their partner.
“I also feel the same way with my stretch marks,” one wrote, while another added: “Wow, you just wrote exactly how I feel … I’ve had several surgeries also, I’m lucky to be alive but the scars are a daily reminder.”
‘SEX HAS A WINDOW THAT CLOSES AT 9.30PM’
Last month Ms Hood opened up about sex after having children, revealing it happens in five minutes with “a tallboy up against the bedroom door and fully clothed”.
Ms Hood wrote how when she first met her husband they “couldn’t get enough of each other”, in a blog post on Facebook.
But once she fell pregnant things changed as “that sex and lust you once had started to vanish”.
“You become that woman who starts believing your husband’s penis will poke the baby in the eye,” Ms Hood wrote.
After childbirth, Ms Hood said she and her husband had been exhausted new parents, meaning sex wasn’t a priority.
“Eventually you do have sex again and it’s probably just to try and procreate again and over time your family becomes complete, your children start getting older and there is a glimmer of hope … for passion. But not so fast!” she wrote.
Ms Hood said that between work and housework her “sex life has a window that closes at 9.30pm because you’re so exhausted”.
“Sex with the lights on becomes non-existent because carrying life has left you with two tennis balls in a pair of socks and a tummy that flaps in the wind,” she wrote.
While spontaneous sex is now rare, when it does happen it is with “a tallboy up against the bedroom door and fully clothed in case the kids decide to stampede their way in”.
“Still it wasn’t spontaneous, after all you strategically put SpongeBob SquarePants on Netflix and gave the kids a Zooper Dooper in the hopes they wouldn’t disrupt you,” she wrote.
“Still it was the best five minutes of your life. You reconnected. You had that time alone, you made time and even though it was rushed, it was something.”
Ms Hood wrote that while many parents felt “pressure on keeping that spark alive”, the spark never goes but “just ignites now at different times over different things”.
Originally published as ‘I won’t let my husband see me naked’